The Flipside International

Human error is inevitable. You know this. We know this. And the Catholic Church certainly is aware. The early 16th century was a marvelous era for error and sin and the Church capitalized. The initial indulgence, a sort of forgiveness bought through the church, held the purpose of shortening the excruciating inferno of an afterlife- efficiency at its best. Unfortunately the genius of the indulgence wasn’t appreciated by the likes of such rabble rousers as Martin Luther, and the sale of salvation quickly fell out of practice… Until now. Atilla Kurama, owner of the Ülker Group and subsequently Godiva Chocolates, announced late Monday evening the collaboration with the Catholic Church on a new line of “Indulgence” chocolates. While still in the works, Mr. Kurama assured the public that the line would be “tasteful” (no pun intended) as well as practical. Included within the box would be copies of the “Hail Mary” and “Our Father” prayers, needed for all cases of repentance along with detailed instructions and a signed exemption from eternal damnation by your local bishop. Varying sizes will correspond with the gravity of the sin committed and will range anywhere within the Ten Commandments.

While critics site the sale of indulgences as abuse of political and social powers, the Church only blames the past failures as “bad marketing.” The line is rumored to debut in time for this years holiday season (a peak in sinning and consequently forgiveness) but it is rumored that Pope Benedict XVI is already enjoying the sinfully delicious treat.