The Flipside International

FRAT GUY VS. ATHENIAN EXCHANGE STUDENT: NO REALLY, I’M GREEK TOO.

jacy — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 22:48:40 +0000

MIDDLE CLASS NEIGHBORHOOD COMPLAINS ABOUT CRAPPY FOOD AT OUTBACK STEAK HOUSE, AUSTRALIA APOLOGIZES

jacy — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 21:33:46 +0000

CATHOLIC CHURCH TO PARTNER WITH GODIVA CHOCOLATE ON NEW LINE OF “INDULGENCES”

jacy — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 14:45:52 +0000

Human error is inevitable. You know this. We know this. And the Catholic Church certainly is aware. The early 16th century was a marvelous era for error and sin and the Church capitalized. The initial indulgence, a sort of forgiveness bought through the church, held the purpose of shortening the excruciating inferno of an afterlife- efficiency at its best. Unfortunately the genius of the indulgence wasn’t appreciated by the likes of such rabble rousers as Martin Luther, and the sale of salvation quickly fell out of practice… Until now. Atilla Kurama, owner of the Ülker Group and subsequently Godiva Chocolates, announced late Monday evening the collaboration with the Catholic Church on a new line of “Indulgence” chocolates. While still in the works, Mr. Kurama assured the public that the line would be “tasteful” (no pun intended) as well as practical. Included within the box would be copies of the “Hail Mary” and “Our Father” prayers, needed for all cases of repentance along with detailed instructions and a signed exemption from eternal damnation by your local bishop. Varying sizes will correspond with the gravity of the sin committed and will range anywhere within the Ten Commandments.

While critics site the sale of indulgences as abuse of political and social powers, the Church only blames the past failures as “bad marketing.” The line is rumored to debut in time for this years holiday season (a peak in sinning and consequently forgiveness) but it is rumored that Pope Benedict XVI is already enjoying the sinfully delicious treat.

ALL-KNOWING BUDDHA CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOW “LOST” ENDS

jacy — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 16:23:13 +0000

NO ONE REMEMBERS NEW YEAR’S EVE

jacy — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 20:51:45 +0000

BROKEN HILL, AUSTRALIA. Broken Hill is a small town known for its good times. After all, how could it not be with more pubs per capita than almost any other location in the world. However, some might argue that the locals of Broken Hill party a little too hard. As of yet, the Flipside International has not been able to locate a single member of the 18,000 person community who remembers New Year’s Eve. According to Area Man, “Wallaby” Sam, the festivities started off early as the younger members of the community headed off to the “Big Smokes” or larger cities to celebrate the holiday with their families. “Me and me mates headed to the boozer ’round 2 in the arvo. Had a few pints and the next thing I know, it’s 2010 and there’s a Joey in my kitchen!” Amazingly enough, no one in the community seems to remember past 10 in the evening. When reached for comment, everyone recounted a similar story, no one was sure what exactly happened, but everyone seemed to believe they had a ace time doing it.

ANGELINA AND BRAD LOOKING TO ADOPT ENTIRE COUNTRY OF AFRICA

jacy — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 20:26:52 +0000

GERMAN CITIZENS FINALLY ADMIT SAUERKRAUT SUCKS

jacy — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 16:52:29 +0000

BRAZILIAN JOURNALISTS BORED WITH CONTINUING STORIES OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION

jacy — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 16:44:37 +0000

BRASILIA, BR. Ana Paula Couto, one of Brazil’s leading television news anchors reported yesterday that she is just really bored reporting the Brazilian news. “It’s just a constant stream of bloody and gory stories,” commented Couto in an exclusive Flipside interview, “I mean, what a snooze fest. It’s the same thing every day!”

Couto isn’t the only journalist expressing her grievances. An overall glumness can be perceived on almost every news program produced in Brazil- save for “Globo Esporte,” the daily sports show. Seasoned anchor Eduardo Ribeiro reportedly paused mid-broadcast upon reading the teleprompter, shook his head, muttered something inaudible and left the newsroom.

In an interview with his wife and co-anchor Ana Brito after the incident, she revealed that above all else, all Ribeiro wants is to report a story on a surfing dog or something. “How exciting that would be! Doing interviews with live people… exploring the nice neighborhoods of the city for once… Reporting stories that really matter to people!”

Rede Globo, the national television network, is taking the situation very seriously, as they are concerned for the mental health of their broadcasters. The most successful remedy to date has been seen in the form of those “happy dogs” hired to brighten up and enliven the hum-drum staff. However, some doubt the foretold success, commenting that the dogs will probably “be grotesquely butchered and sold for some weird colt ceremony or whatever and we’ll have to report another one… Snooze…”

BRITISH VIRGIN ISLANDS SUED FOR FALSE ADVERTISING- REALLY JUST A BUNCH OF SLUTS

jacy — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 15:19:00 +0000

AMERICAN TOURIST LOST IN DESERT AFTER WEEK LONG SEARCH FOR “CAVE OF WONDERS”

jacy — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 15:13:06 +0000